What You Should Know Before Starting IVF
A straight-talk guide from a fertility nurse who’s seen probably every version of this process.
Starting IVF is a big decision, and most people walk into it thinking they know what to expect, only to realize the learning curve is steeper than they thought. Here’s what actually matters before you dive in - the medical pieces, the logistics, the emotions, and the honest realities clinics don’t always have time to explain.
1. IVF Is a Daily Commitment, Not a One-Time Procedure
You’ll be doing injections, blood draws, and ultrasounds nearly every day for a couple weeks. It’s fast paced, and timing matters. You’ll get calls with dose changes, new instructions, or monitoring updates, sometimes with very short notice. Work, travel, childcare, and life need to flex around this.
Bottom line: The cycle runs your schedule, not the other way around.
If your clinic tells you to inject or take a medication at exactly 8pm, they don’t mean plus or minus a half hour. They really do mean right on the dot.
How IVF BFF can support you: I can map out your entire cycle day by day so you know exactly what’s coming so that you can plan around it. If your clinic calls with new instructions, you can reach out and I’ll break everything down in real time. You don’t have to spend hours worrying if you misunderstood something.
2. Your Protocol Is Personalized, Not a Reflection of “How Bad” Things Are
There’s no “easy” or “hard” protocol. Some people start with higher doses because of their ovarian reserve. Some get a combination of meds for egg quality. Some need extra support for lining development or immune issues.
Your protocol is a strategy, not a grade or a label. It’s built to give you the best shot for your ovaries and your timeline.
How IVF BFF can support you: I can walk you through what each medication does, why it was included in your plan, and how it fits into your cycle goals. You’ll know exactly why your protocol looks the way it does and feel more informed and better prepared to get started.
3. You Will Feel Physically Different, and That’s Normal
By day 5 or 6 of stimulation meds, your ovaries start to feel heavy and bloated. This is not in your head. You’re growing multiple follicles, usually many more than normal thanks to the medication so that you can retrieve as many as possible, and your organs are literally shifting around slightly to make space.
Normal physical expectations:
Bloating
Cramping
Fatigue
Mood swings
Headaches
Mild nausea
How IVF BFF can support you: You can message me with symptoms anytime for a “sanity check,” and I’ll tell you what’s typical, what’s expected, and what’s worth flagging to your clinic.
4. You Should Understand Your Baseline Numbers
Your AMH, AFC, FSH, and estradiol tell your clinic a lot about how your ovaries respond. You don’t need to be an endocrinologist, but you should know:
What these numbers mean
How they influenced your protocol
Whether your care team expects a high or low response
Understanding your numbers helps you set realistic expectations.
How IVF BFF can support you: I can review your labs with you and translate each number into plain language so you know exactly what it means for your cycle and outcomes.
5. Retrieval Isn’t the Finish Line
Retrieval gets you eggs, but fertilization and embryo development are a separate part of the journey. And a cycle that starts with 20 follicles doesn’t mean 20 embryos. Most people lose some along the way as eggs mature, fertilize, and grow.
This isn’t failure.
This is biology.
How IVF BFF can support you: I can help prepare you for the typical fertilization and growth patterns so you aren’t blindsided. When your clinic calls with embryology updates, I can walk through your numbers with you and explain what’s “normal” at each stage.
6. You Won’t Always Feel In Control, and That’s Hard for a Lot of People
IVF has structure, but it’s not mechanical.
Follicles grow at their own pace. Hormones fluctuate. Embryos do what they do. You can do everything right and still not get the outcome you want on the first try.
Feeling frustrated, anxious, or impatient is normal. There’s nothing about this process that’s quick or easy.
How IVF BFF can support you: I help you make sense of changes, pivots, or unexpected updates. You always have someone steady to talk through the “why” behind what’s happening, who won’t rush you out of the office. I’m solely in YOUR corner!
7. Your Relationship May Feel the Stress
Even strong couples feel the pressure of IVF. Injecting someone nightly, managing expectations, worrying about results, and dealing with physical discomfort can strain communication.
It helps to have:
A plan for who gives injections
Dedicated “no IVF talk” time
Clear expectations for how each person wants support
How IVF BFF can support you: I love teaching partners exactly how to give injections confidently and safely, or I can do the injections for you if you’re local. I also help couples set expectations upfront so things feel more structured and less chaotic.
8. The Financial Side Is Real and Often Surprising
Beyond the meds and the cycles, there are hidden costs people don’t realize at first:
Extra monitoring
ICSI
Assisted hatching
Freezing
Storage fees
Genetic testing
Anesthesia
Time off work
Even with insurance, most people end up paying something out of pocket.
Plan for more than the clinic quote.
How IVF BFF can support you: I help you understand which costs are standard, which ones are optional, and what’s likely to pop up so you can budget more realistically. This is particularly important when insurance requires specific tests before they’ll cover other parts of your IVF process! Clinics can miss these details and they can fall through the cracks very easily.
9. Your Clinic Might Feel Busy, and That’s Normal
Fertility clinics run at a fast pace. Your nurse will be juggling dozens of patients in a single morning. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just means the system is stretched, and that’s exactly why I started IVF BFF.
How IVF BFF can support you: You deserve someone who can slow down and walk you through things. You get unrushed, one-on-one guidance whenever you need it. I fill the gap when your clinic is overloaded or can’t answer non-urgent questions quickly.
10. You Can and Should Ask Questions
Ask what every medication is for.
Ask what your clinic is expecting from your cycle.
Ask what normal growth looks like.
Ask what happens if something changes.
Good patients aren’t silent patients - good patients are informed.
How IVF BFF can support you: Message me before or after your appointment and I’ll help you gather the right questions, debrief the answers, and understand anything that was confusing.
11. You Don’t Need To Be “Perfect” for IVF To Work - But You Do Need To Trust Your Doctor
A day of stress at work does not ruin your cycle. A brownie will not kill you. You don’t need to meditate every night. You don’t need every supplement on TikTok (and you shouldn’t take them without telling your doctor!)
How IVF BFF can support you: I can help you focus on the few things that genuinely matter and ignore the noise so you don’t waste time, money, or mental energy. People tend to underestimate how much emotional energy the non-medical parts take.